I’m not what you call the world’s biggest lover of pregnancy. I tend to be more the “grit my teeth and get through it” version of a pregnant woman rather than the “I feel wonderful and glowing” kind I so envy/admire/secretly loathe.
And yet, as difficult as I find pregnancy to be and as much as I look forward to the delivery finish line, I also have to admit that I dread the immediate postpartum phase maybe even slightly more. I love having a newborn and I love the relief that comes with not being pregnant anymore (breathing normally! No swollen feet!) but I also dread the ways that being postpartum can actually be worse than pregnancy …
1. There’s no excuse for the belly anymore.
Every pregnancy, I make the mistake of thinking, “Maybe this will be the pregnancy when I actually lose my belly quickly!” And every pregnancy, I am left with a lingering post-delivery mass of jelly belly that persists in sticking around for, oh, a good ten or more months. At least when I’m pregnant, I can talk myself into thinking that extra flab is just the baby.
2. The exhaustion is bone-deep.
The exhaustion of pregnancy is different than the exhaustion of the postpartum phase. With pregnancy, there’s an insomnia at the end that comes complete with an affection for giant pillows and endless tossing and turning, but there’s also some degree of anticipation
to get you through — the end is in sight, in a way, with an impending delivery and excitement of a new baby. Once that baby is out, however, there’s just a lifetime of sleepless nights to look forward to.3. One word: mastitis.
Mastitis must have been created by the devil, because it’s one of the worst evils known to mankind in my opinion. Just when you’re struggling along trying to do what’s “best” for your baby, a vicious infection in your boob has to knock you flat to the ground. I’ve never experienced exhaustion like the kind caused by mastitis and the worst part about the infection is that it’s ridiculously hard to get rid of — once you have it, it seems like you get it over and over and over again. Also, try explaining to other people why you look like death and just want to sleep because of a breast infection — it’s not exactly a condition for sympathy in the non-nursing crowd.
4. Ravenous hunger is not your friend.
You think you’re hungry when you’re pregnant, but hunger hath no match for a woman who is postpartum. Almost every day in those first few weeks, especially with breastfeeding, I wake up ravenous and dreaming of bacon so intensely I can swear I smell it. Trying to reconcile the notion of yourself as one of those celebrities who “bounce back” a day after birth with the bottomless pit that is now your appetite is not always easy.
5. Night sweats are disgusting.
I was completely and totally unprepared for the postpartum fun of night sweats. The first time I woke up in a pool of sweat after having my first daughter, I thought something was deeply wrong with me. Now, I just know better. Hormones gone crazy + tons of extra fluid = a body trying to flush itself out. I genuinely want to know why no one warns mothers about this, because I’ve worked as an OB nurse for years and never once heard someone talk about it. I’m six weeks postpartum right now and will still have the occasional night sweat. So gross.
6. The pain.
I tried to think of a clever title for this one, but how do you really describe the pain that is possible to feel in your lady bits after giving birth? I’ve experienced the gamut here and all I can say is that it’s a bitter, bitter irony that the time in your life when you will spend the most time sitting on your butt feeding a baby/being too tired to move is also the time in your life when it hurts the most to sit on your butt. Let’s give it up for my personal BFF, witch hazel pads.
7. Trying on clothes is a horrifying thing.
Directly related to #1 is the horror that is trying to fit into any clothing after having a baby. I’ve made it my general rule not to try on any “real” clothes any earlier than six weeks after having a baby, but this time around, even six weeks was much too generous for the damage of baby #4. It doesn’t even matter if you’re able to lose all of the baby weight, clothes just fit differently after pregnancy. Whereas in pregnancy, when wearing maternity clothing is exciting and totally comfortable, wearing maternity clothes postpartum is just downright depressing.
8. Tears, tears, and more tears.
Like fellow Babble blogger Lauren Hartman, I’m not much of a crier when I’m pregnant. I’ve actually prided myself on going against the stereotypical crazy hormonal pregnant woman image. I sail through my pregnancies with (barely) a breakdown in sight. Come the postpartum phase (especially days 3, 4, and 5) however, and I am a complete and total mess. I sobbed my way through all hours of the day and night for totally rational reasons such as, “she’s so beautiful!” and “will she hate me someday?!” and “this sleeper is so ugly!”
9. The dietary restrictions are actually worse.
You may look forward to popping that kid out so you can actually enjoy an alcoholic beverage without feeling guilty or drink yourself into a caffeinated tizzy, but if you’re breastfeeding, you can forgetaboutit and enjoy an even more highly restricted diet. Drinking now merits the pump n’ dump debate while indulging in your daily cup of joe could mean dealing with mounds of spit-up from a sensitive baby. Super fun.
10. The aching muscles never go away.
The aches and pains of pregnancy were always some of my top complaints during my months of gestating. Everything seemed to hurt and even walking would cause intense pain on some days. But now, in the postpartum phase, I wake up every morning feeling like I’ve tangoed with a sumo wrestler. From marathon nursing sessions hunched over in a rocking chair to nights spent tiptoeing around in futile attempts to not wake the baby to endless days with a newborn resting on your burning bicep, it’s amazing how one tiny being can test the limits of your physical stamina.
Luckily for all of us, the reason for those aching muscles, sore nipples, and pain upon sitting is a pretty good one …
The baby that makes it all worth it. Even if she does kind of resemble an angry old man for the first few weeks.
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