It is not possible to ‘spoil’ a newborn. Every bit of attention you give now helps your baby grow and develop.
In your baby’s early months, she is working out what the world is like. If your newborn cries and someone comes, and if she is cuddled, kissed and played with, she is going to think the world is a pretty OK place.
On the other hand, if your baby cries and nobody comes, or if nobody ever smiles or cuddles him, he is going to think the world is a pretty hard place.
Research shows that
when a parent responds quickly to comfort a crying infant, the baby cries less often overall. It is absolutely fine to pick your baby up when she cries. It tells her that she is safe because you are a caring, responsive parent who loves her.
when a parent responds quickly to comfort a crying infant, the baby cries less often overall. It is absolutely fine to pick your baby up when she cries. It tells her that she is safe because you are a caring, responsive parent who loves her.
Most parents and professionals believe that babies are born with very different behavioural styles, or temperaments. Some are relaxed and easy going, others appear more intense and dramatic. Some seem to move constantly, others are more docile. Some are cheerful most of the time, others are more serious.
You don't need to worry about spoiling your baby in the first month, or even the first six months.
Why babies cry
Crying is a newborn’s way of communicating, of telling you what he needs. It’s a sound that can spur you into action (even when you are fast asleep). It can turn on a mother’s milk like some kind of magic remote control.
Normal babies cry and fuss on average for almost three hours a day (and some for a good deal longer than this), studies show. Most of this crying and fussing seems to take place in the late afternoon and evening, although there is considerable variation from day to day.
Babies’ crying becomes more communicative as they get older and it is more likely to be spread throughout the day.
Inconsolable crying
Some babies suffer long bouts of unexplained crying, commonly called colic. Some people believe colic is because of stomach pain caused by wind. Many doctors now think it is simply natural behavior for some babies, especially at the end of a long day.
Recent research suggests inconsolable crying might be caused by too much stimulation. Crying might help a newborn take control of her environment. It’s as if your baby is saying, ‘Enough already! I’m just going to cry to shut out the world’.
Coping with inconsolable crying
- Reduce the stimulation around your baby. This might help to soothe her.
- Try sitting in a quiet, dimmed room. Lay your baby on his side and rhythmically pat his back (remembering to turn him onto his back if he falls asleep).
- Inconsolable crying can be very distressing for parents. Try putting in some imaginary earplugs. Let the sound of the crying pass through you, and remind yourself that everything is OK. You are doing all you can to help your baby.
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